Holey

I'm so holey. I mean I have holes in me, deep down inside, in my innermost being. I don't really know how they got there. I just know that they're there...and they're raw...and I feel them a lot, more times than others. I heard a friend ask "Jesus to fill her holes." I think I get that more. I think I need Jesus more in my life than I've ever needed him before. Sometimes I just feel like a hole...so raw and fragile. Jesus, fill my holes. But, holes aren't such a bad thing. In the Scriptures, we're likened to jars of clay with a treasure inside. But, you see, if the jars of clay don't have holes in them, well, the light won't be able to shine through. I still want to be whole, secure, confident, but I also want to live out the Scriptures that say "God's grace is sufficient for me, His power is made perfect in my weakness, for when I'm weak, then I'm strong." The context of this verse is where Paul is asking that the "thorn in his flesh" or his "weakness" be taken away. This power in weakness is a tough pill to swallow. It's so against the thinking of this world. I'd much rather be viewed as strong, confident and secure, then to show my weakness and frailty all the time. But, here I am...as holey as can be. But there is One who also bore holes. Holes which were much more costly than mine. The Word also says, "Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man, so that you do not grow weary and lose hope." Your holes were much more costly than mine, but look at where they brought You? To the right hand of God! And look at where they brought me: hol-y. Now that's something to fill my holes! Thank you Holy Spirit!